She Shall Rejoice! - A Mother's Day Tribute

      It is with joy that I inscribe these words to a woman whom I have always loved but I've come to more greatly admire since donning my own spectacles of Motherhood.  Though this woman entered the world unexpectedly by human standards, her Creator made deliberate the plans He had for her before she was humanly thought of.  His plans are always better than ours.  His plans included my Mom.

     If you knew my Mother you would know that she has overcome many the physical obstacle such as a variety of surgeries that included the eyes, shoulders, back, and feet in her childhood, through marriage,

(Precious Moments.)

and successfully raising four daughters.

(Precious-er I know, I just couldn't resist.)

                                        

 She has learned to overcome extreme affliction that is, even now, an ongoing struggle in her life; however, my Mother is the perfect illustration of how to overcome chronic physical pain.  

     In the past 20 plus years she has manifested the ability to walk miles upon miles as a distraction from the constant physical distress she endures daily.  She has entered marathons and completed them, one being in Boston, MA, and very rarely does she miss a day of this fast paced exercise unless she has been laid up by illness, or tripping over a raised crack in the sidewalk causing bruising on her chin and more spasms in her body (this winter's set-back).  

     Besides walking, she overcomes by designing and sewing extravagant quilts for her...........................  10 grandchildren!!!...

(one grandson for grandpa...can you find Jackson?)

...as well as working her creative mind in putting together those 10 scrapbooks (to the relief of her daughters...ahem).  This past winter she and dad were blessed to have *everyone*, minus the son-in-laws, sleep and dine in their new home for the first time.  It was a house filled with noise joyful banter and chitchat reconnecting with those who have been absent, and the clicking of the camera freezing classic images to add yet another to those picture-books.

"She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idlesness."
Proverbs 31:27

"Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?

    the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows
    are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
    with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you;
    you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep."

Psalm 127:4-5
(MSG)

And as her daughter I can proudly...rise up and call her blessed! (Proverbs 31:28).

Mom is really a Jane-of-most-trades and puts forth excellence in all of them.  Baking and gardening and keeping a peaceful home for her husband is but just a few of her loves.  

 She loves on everyone's babies 

and lends *both* hands to her cherished elderly; she paints wildlife and sunsets by the sea; she sheds a tear with the grieving and laughs in life's joys.   She is often observed at her Baby Grand practicing her favorite hymns for that one moment she may be called upon to substitute on a Sunday Morning Sing.  

     But most of all, and my most favorite part, is witnessing the growth in my Mom for the past 30 years of my life in her love for God.  If anything is to be inherited from her it is this love and trust in her LORD... and when her children and grandchildren and even her great-grandchildren inquire about this Love she will recount the days that He made a way (through the discouragement of pain), like those days of Joshua (see Joshua 4).

If you haven't yet caught on my Mom is a pretty incredible lady and I'm proud to call her my friend, my confidant, my nurse (because that was her vocation), my go-to when life is upside-down or right-side-up or when I need a recipe ;), and well, simply my Mom! 

Isn't she pretty!

And though today it is called Mother's Day, tomorrow *my* Mother turns another year younger.  

Mom,  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!  I love you :)

And thus, Fence #6:    (Overcoming Pain)                                                                               

(Pic taken by LinJane...my Mom!  Have I mentioned that her favorite color is yellow?) 

"Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come."  

Proverbs 31:25

       

And "time to come" is her hope where there will neither be sorrow nor pain (Revelation 21:4), and as the former things will have passed away, God says that He will make all things new! (vs. 5)

In holding onto this Truth my Mother has chosen the side of the fence that hasn't allowed the pain to overcome her, but has trusted God with her pain as she continues to overcome.

Remembering who I am (my Mom's daughter),

                                                                             Cindy

Not One Tear Lost (Overcoming Disappointment)

Fence #5        (Santa Ynez, California; taken by LinJane)

(Battling disappointment can be an uphill, drag-out war...if you're standing on the wrong side)

I'm not a cryer.  My eyes are often very dry and, in fact, I can specifically count the moments that I found myself convulsing and dripping wet with tears...on one hand.  I've been able to sing solos at personal family member's funerals and weddings without breaking.  It's not that I had not cared or felt indifferent, it's that I was overwhelmed with a peace that I could not explain.   But in recent years I've often wondered why?  Why was *I* blessed with this peace?  Why was I *cursed* with non-emotion?  So I have asked Yahweh for tears.  Little did I know that prayer was answered, though in a way that did not make me feel much better.  I had been hoping for tears of joy, not of sorrow.  

I was awakened early in the morning by our Malamute barking hysterically in our back yard.  Peeking out the bedroom window my heart jumped and as I prompted my husband to get ready to help I hurriedly slipped on a pair of jeans and slippers making my way out the door quickly.  My newly acquired horse, Shadrak, had caught himself in the barb-wire fence and I found it amazing that my dog had the sense to alert whoever would listen; at the same time my human sense warned me there was no logical explanation for this hang-up.  My heart had been racing, the dog was still barking, the rest of the family was stirring, my husband was dialing the neighbor, and the sun was just peaking over the eastern hills, and all I could do was barely choke out a whisper "somebody please help me, please hurry".  As Shadrak fell to the ground, my hands were supporting his head and little did I know at that moment that the wire was around his neck choking the life out of him; he was dying rapidly and there was nothing that I could do.  I sat there with his head in my hands sobbing inaudible words that God could only decipher, feeling helpless and worthless, and as overwhelming emotions flooded me I witnessed a tear roll down my new friend's cheek for one moment of hope; the wire cutters came one last breath too late and life left him limp and no longer suffering.  "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry." I wailed. 

There was an eerie quiet calm that solemn morning.  The trees were noiseless as if they were standing at attention out of respect, the morning birds held back their flight as if there was a knowing among the creatures, and out of the thin air I heard a faint mourning cry, a chorus of distant howling paying their respects.   I was later told that the howling of wolves in the morning is very unusual, and by that I knew that God's great design of nature had a way of grieving as well, and that was comforting in a way.  

Many a tear drop were shed that day and not one of them were left untouched.

Shortly after this loss a friend shared with me that losing a horse is like losing a family member.  The loss is great and the grief is real; and it's not like losing a family pet such as a dog or cat.  I can attest to this, even if I owned this horse for but a few months.  A few days of bonding with a horse is like a few years of getting acquainted with a friend.  I can't explain it, but it's real.  Writing this brings back a bit of sadness, because it was a short-lived dream that I held onto since I was 10 years of age and it had finally come to fruition at age 33.  Now ten years later I'm curiously reminded of this day.
But the sadness over a lost dream is not what really bothers me today.  What has me disheartened is the fear that I held onto in sharing this with the friend that gave me this common dream...her horse became mine.  And because my heart was completely ripped apart I didn't know how to communicate this loss to her.  I shared this fear with a precious mentor at that time and she encouraged me with "you'll call her in time".  I never did and my friend found out through another source ... and *that's* disappointing.  I was afraid of rejection, of ridicule, of confrontation, of disappointing another human being; I couldn't face another loss.  But consequently my fear and lack of communication caused another separation. 

This isn't about overcoming loss; it's really about overcoming disappointment; overcoming being disappointed and overcoming being a disappointment.  It's a matter of getting off the fence of blinding fear and onto a side that lends to walking the path of courage to face people no matter what their reaction will be, and trusting the Shepard in that step of courage.  I can imagine that the other side would have lent to a path of loneliness and distrust.  Though, at the time of the tragedy, I was not aware of a choice only of the fear that enveloped me, hindsight lends me the knowledge that my God took care of the details and brought me back to the green pasture.  It was a couple of months later that my friend and I reconnected, awkward and humiliating as it was on my part, but we connected nonetheless.  However, consequently the repercussion of my inaction took us down a path that went different ways and communication dwindled to nothing.  If this friend ever reads this just know that I am truly sorry.  God gives me grace to learn from my mistakes and grow from there on.  He leaves the ninety-nine and fetches the one in hopes to reconnect, retrain, regather him to the rest of His flock for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training. (2 Timothy 3:16)

 ³ Then Jesus told them this parable: ⁴ “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? ⁵ And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders ⁶ and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ ⁷ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

Luke 15:4-7 (NIV)

I can only imagine the disappointment that this wandering lamb had experienced, the lost teardrops whisked away in the wind as he desperately ran away to separate himself from the humiliation of time lost in sin, disobedience, fear, disappointment, loss, grief, whatever it was that caused him to take flight; and I can imagine that the Shepard carefully caught the displaced tears in His gentle hands not willing any of them to fall by the wayside.  And notice that when the Shepard found this lost creature He "joyfully puts it on His shoulders" like a smiling father giving his child a piggy-back ride home...and a party is awaiting their return! And oh there is so much to this story of His and I could go on and on ... and maybe I will in another post; but you see, disappointment is but an emotion that disconnects us from the special appointments with God, our Shepard.  Disappointment is learned through unfortunate events in life.  But by His grace He enables us to learn something new:  thrilling appointments that just might involve tears of joy with our Father, on time and in His steps.  

The path of loneliness and detachment

OR

The path of courage to face divine appointments

I know that my story may sound confusing as I originally chose in ignorance the path of loneliness; however, as I began to realize my mistake I allowed the Shepard to lead me on from there.  See the difference?   He, then, carried me over the fence...on His shoulders no less ... now *that* was a ride!    ;)

Remembering who I am...

                                               Cindy

As for me, I will serve...

Fence #4  (fence defined)

(Los Olivos, California, taken by LinJane)

*Can you guess what they are *studying* from their side of the fence?

Choosing a side ... of anything really ... can be difficult, time-consuming, fearful, and intimidating for some, like me.  For others it is quite simple to make a choice.

Back in the day when a second language was mandatory to learn in high school (because apparently it's not anymore in the schools here) my options were French and Spanish.  It was only logical to take Spanish because a very large minority that lived where I did spoke that language. Consequently I passed the class, but for the life of me I can't imagine why I didn't become a missionary in Mexico!  Seriously, learning another language is very difficult for me, let alone understanding the Texan/Arkansan accents. (Please don't be offended by that...because I love all y'all's language. I lived there once, yes, in both places, and they're completely different I might add.) 

And I digress.

For about a year now I've had this urge in me to learn the original language of the Scriptures.  Um, Why?  Because I can, thanks to the ever growing technology we have in the internet!  But seriously, I'm becoming more aware in the importance of knowing who I am and who my forefathers were.  I'm not speaking about George Washington, or Lincoln, or even my great-grandpa, although they are a part of the descendants; what I'm talking about is our Biblical fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  Because down in their lineage is Jesus Messiah!  I've had this ever-growing thought in the back of my head that if I'm to peel back more layers of His life-giving, action-breathing Word then I need to know what His Word says;  and to know what it says, I need to understand the culture and people that He wrote it in and to.  Why?  So that I can hear and do what it says in the way that He meant for His people to hear and do it.  I crave to know God because I *am* His people.

Alarming information was brought to my attention and it made my insides curl.  I am currently going through a culture shock because of it.  It's as if I've stepped into a *culture zone* and I'm more desperate now than ever to learn it's language.  The language is Hebrew; God's original language for His people, Israel. 
I'm going to link you to the website that offers these facts, because I'm not able to communicate it with any sort of loveliness...click here.





Shocking isn't it?  Why have we not used the correct term for our Creator in all these hundreds of years?  (This might peak your interest). I wonder what went incredibly wrong with the translation? Hmm, I wonder.  

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

Quoted from Ephesians 6:12.

And *who* would this scripture be referring to?

"Michael and his angels fought with the dragon; and the dragon and his angels fought"  

(This is not flesh and blood)

"But they (the dragon and his angels)did not prevail, nor was a place found for them in heaven any longer.  So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him."

Parenthesis mine.

Just sayin'!

I cannot say the word "God" or "Lord" now without thinking twice.  You will find that from now on I'm more likely to use these names as I write: (more fitting to Whom I serve)

Yehowah (pronounced with a "v" instead of "w" or Jehovah) for "God" 
Yeshua for "Jesus" (because "Yeshua" is actually His Hebrew name...the Englisher's just nick-named Him I guess). 
Yahweh for LORD (all caps)
Adonai for Lord (small letters)
Elohim for God ... not gods as it's sometimes used as a general term in the plural.

 (E-Sword is a great free download by the way :)

 Do you remember that churchy word "Hallelujah"? I use it all the time in worship.  We've known it to mean "Praise the Lord"...in Hebrew. (uh, praise Baal?? I don't think so.) No, that's partly correct.  It actually means "Praise Yah", a shortened version of YHWH (which is the name for the Creator).  This was used countless times in the Bible and apparently the shortened form was accepted.  So, if I use "Yah" you'll understand where *that* comes from :) Click here for more detailed information on this subject.

Remember, I'm not an expert, only beginning this new journey of our original language, and if there is a reference to my newly found information I will link you to it.  

"Test all things; hold fast to what is good." writes Paul in First Thessalonians 5:21

And now I will!

Which side of the fence will you choose based on this information given?  

Today I will call out to...

• Creator God (Yahowah, Jehovah, Yeshua, Yahweh, Adonai)

OR

• other lifeless gods (Baal, *Asteroth, etc.)

I choose Creator Yahowah!

  Joshua 24:15  "And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD (Yahweh), choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell.  But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD (Yahweh)".  

Parenthesis mine.

Interesting background about the "gods" mentioned in the above scripture: (strong's H2764 "under the ban" .. this is a start for further study)

  The Canaanites, Amorites, etc. were involved in worshiping two deities (gods): 1)for agriculture and 2) for fertility (*Asteroth).  They sacrificed babies (very sad, I know, but very real), made their children walk through fire and had sex with the priestess, just to name a few of the abominations.   This information lends to disgust in relation to the name/s that have been mis-placed or re-placed for our Creator...in our ignorance.  I don't want to stand in this disillusionment any longer.

What is the challenge that I'm overcoming?   

                                                                          A different language.

But the most significant one I could ever learn.

Remembering who I am....

                                                Cindy

*The answer is: Miniature Horses.   We aren't able to distinguish that fact from this side of the camera, can we?  They're too far away.  It would take doing some research and going to *that* side of the photo to understand what they are observing. ;)

Into His Sandals (Overcoming Defeat)

Fence #3

   Land surrounding Hearst Castle in California, taken by LinJane                                                     

"Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, for I delight in it." 

Psalm 119:35

"walk just as He walked"

(I John 2:6)

autumn

winter

spring

summer

His very feast steps.

(John 7:14,37; 10:22; 13:1)

Recently the question was asked among a group of people "How are we to live?" as the topic of the Fruits of the Spirit was being discussed.     

"This is how not to live" came the reply.  And the list of all the what-not-to's were read:  "adultery, fornication, uncleanness ... idolatry, sorcery, hatred ... jealousies ... selfish ambitions ..." Galatians 5:19-20.   

Many of the characteristics that this world has to offer and that are, unfortunately, so familiar to us today.  However, these only give us half the picture of what it means to live.  (100% true, but only 50% Truth.)

How are we to live?

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control."

But the fruit of the tree is apple, orange, banana, coconut, cherry, fig.

But how are we to eat it?

The attributes of the tree are beneficial, but if we don't know what to do with them then the benefits are mute.

Similarly, the marks of the Spirit are wholesome and lends to a profitable end, but if we are ignorant in how to live them out in a practical way then what good are they but decorations on a temple?

How are we to live?

God's Word states it clearly...

"walk just as He walked" (I John 2:6)

Who's "He"?

Jesus (Yeshua).  And the only way for you and I to know the *who* and the *how* is to *do* what He says to do.  When I do what He says to do God's Word says...

"Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments."I John 2:3

How did He "walk"? 

"though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience..."

(Hebrews 5:8)

Jesus walked in obedience...perfectly.

"and having been perfected..."

(verse 9)

What was Jesus being obedient to?

To His Father's voice...

"Therefore you shall obey the voice of the Lord your God, and observe His commandments and His statutes which I command you today." (Deuteronomy 27:10)

He was all about His "Father's business" (Luke 2:49), and He walked out His Father's business perfectly.  Thus, was the spotless Lamb of God (I Peter 1:19).

Back in the day when I was under the guidance of my own parents we attended a church where I learned about the Ten Commandments in Sunday School.  These were days that stories were told with felt boards and puppets.  Remember?  

Today these commandments are but a vintage thought left on a dusty fence as a law that's been deemed done with...forgotten...put away...but never abolished; no, because, alas, Jesus said it himself that He did not come to "destroy the Law or the Prophets...but to fulfill."  What's the difference?  The difference is in the two verses that follow in Matthew chapter 5 verses 18 and 19 that seemed to have been nestled in to the dust for the rest of time.  Why is that?

There are way too many times we wonder why we are facing defeat in life; our marriage is crumbling, our friendships are dwindling, our health is deteriorating, our spiritual walk is a constant fumble;  and we find ourselves asking God to come to our rescue and "make it better, stronger, more meaningful", but yet there is a screaming silence, or worse, a variety of confusing voices that are indiscernible. Though we seek, and we ask, we can't seem to find; because we're not searching in the right direction? Perhaps we're not asking the right questions?  Quite possibly we're hung up on our own traditions and the age old response "because that's what I've been taught my whole life" unwilling to turn over yet another stone of remembrance that our ancient descendant (Joshua) set up for us to ask "what did you mean by that?".

I'm committed to getting off that dusty, old, vintage fencing of rusty ignorance, rebellion, and pride and onto the fresh pasture that line the footsteps of Jesus in order to move forward in overcoming defeat in my life.    Why?  Because I can, because I am His sheep who hear His voice, and because I desire to walk just as He walked.

How about you?

Remembering who I am...

                                                      Cindy