Reflections of the Future

This past year was most difficult in many ways I would never wish to repeat; and in just as much sorrow as it has leant, this year has closed it’s curtains with fireworks of joy – a new Grandbaby and a Prodigal come home.  I could not be happier with an ending like this; so with that, only praise should go up to our faithful LORD who is good!

     For any one of us tomorrow may begin a new year with an even more difficult year – only God knows what’s in store. With this in mind, I’d like to begin 2019 with this:

No matter what comes my way, whether hardship or happiness, I will set my sight on the LORD because it is He only that can give me joy and calm the storm and bring peace.  With this mindset I can begin to walk into excellence regardless of the hurdles I may need to endure; and just maybe these hurdles that may be experienced will be the next stumble into learning a new lesson, a new way of living, a new friend, a new door to walk through, a new talent, a new goal, a new calling, a new perspective or whatever it is that may be enlightening into the new.  Through pain I will say, “God will walk with me”.  Through sorrow I will say, “God will stay by me”.  Through disappointment I will say, “God will provide for me”.  Through the great times I will say, “God has always been for me”.  Through the stale and silent times I will say, “God is preparing for me”.  

     I was gifted a tea mug this Christmas with a statement engraved into it.  It states:

ALWAYS BE JOYFUL IN HOPE

And so in preparation of the new year I must change my mind in how I think and what I do about what I think.  Being JOYFUL in HOPE has a doing attitude – a positive perspective when negative begins to invade the hope that I have for this upcoming year.  Every day will provide me with something new to learn, but it’s up to me to discover it.  My hope this evening is that these words will be a beginning of a change in me – a new positive mindset – and that God will use the change in me to inspire others.  That is my prayer for this next New Year.

What is your prayer or goal or whatever you call it for this new year of 2019?

May the LORD Bless you and keep you and shine His ever loving glorious face upon you and may you find extraordinary favor this year.

Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

CindyJane

Let the Tent Pegs be Lifted!!!

Last evening I ended my year with forgiveness, aiming to start fresh in the morning. Aiming to give God the glory and all that I am. Allowing Him to have the last word in this past year.  I woke up very early determined to start this next with new mercies, and much joy.  Peering out the window the moon shone through the cloudy sky upon pure white, fresh fallen snow - snow that actually began last night.  It is now, I'm guessing, at five inches deep - a number of Grace. A pure, white heavenly linen covering and cleansing yesterday's sin-infested creation. 

The LORD knows that we are rolling out of the place of residence that He so graciously provided for my family this past year.  A place of rest and safety.  He is aware of the prayers that have been sent up for safe travels and a clear road.  My Yahweh is not concerned, I'm pretty sure, because He knows the plans He has for us; plans not to harm us but to prosper - a plan with a future and a hope.  And because He is not concerned, I will not be.  He's got us covered!

This first day of my new year is the first day of my family's new beginning - new ministry.  A day when new friendships will be rooted into new soil.  A day when old friendships will be rejuvenated in renewed cultivated soil.  A day when our faith is tested for a new level of growth and maturity.  A day when our trust in the One whom will take us to another safe ground will be expanded to lengths like never before.  

Let the tents pegs be lifted!! 

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Let our hearts be sifted
Refine us, O Lord

Let those pegs be rooted
Where our hearts will not be muted
Align us, O Lord
With You!

Father, thank You, for giving me life - new life!  I'm grateful for the opportunities of serving You that You've allowed for me to walk out this past year.  And I praise You in Your Grace for giving me yet another opportunity to be Your hands and feet in this next year of my life.  Go before my family, guiding and directing us in this new adventure You have for us.  In Yeshua Messiah's Name!

Until next time, go in the grace and mercy of our Savior!

CindyJane

Overcoming Weakness with New Wine

Discussions are intimidating and uncomfortable when they're uncovering issues such as weight-gain or fatigue or pain ... don't you think?   I'm 40 plus pounds over weight, I'm on a role with the daily exercise of fatigue, and pain has recently become my closest buddy-'ol-pal.  So there ya have it ... it's out ... my dark weak side! 

or how about...

Discoveries are pretty awesome when it pertains to anything that brings more wealth, happiness, or adorable-fluffy-little puppies ... right?  Sure!  Money lends to pleasure and pleasure is defined by that can't-say-no-to little creature that doesn't stay little and chews on fingers and barks at nothing and chases after innocent green-belt-walkers and wakes up in the middle of the night to pee delightful new family member ... not-so-much!


I'll let you in on a little unearthing happin' on this side of the woods...

It all began with a desire to lose a little weight.  Simple diet, with simple rules, that simple!  And it was when it was all said and done, and the scale experienced a lesser load one morning, that a pursuit of something sweet (because I deserved it, don't ya know!) turned the steering wheel towards the grocer's haven.  

We attempt to teach our children the ways of encouraging our neighbors and loving our enemies, you see;  and we dance with joy when we witness this teaching taking root.  However, there are times when these disciplines come back to bite us in the rear...like this time.

It was my eldest daughter that practiced the art of encouraging her mother with these words: 

"Oh Mom!  It's OK to treat yourself once in a while"  as she winks and smiles at me.

And so *that* little sweetness justified my next action.

It's called "treating myself splurging" on that which I had previously put aside with much discipline, mind you, for the purpose of losing weight:    sugar, pasta, and bread.  I was completely ruined.

OK...and Double-Stuffed Oreos and Pop!
My weakness :(

 I agree with my daughter ... to some extent ... when one is disciplined! But that doesn't account for all the "once's" that prevailed ... with me.

Thus, discipline fail!

  


One morning, swaying to and fro in the porch swing, I was thinking about all the scripture-studying I had settled into in the recent months and how lacking it had been within the past few days.  Don't you know, one of the first thoughts of discovery was an intriguing parallel to the laziness in my recent eating habits?  Go figure!

*Unhealthy food lends to bad habits. 

*Laziness lends to worldly thoughts ("I'm so deserving!").

*Worldly thoughts lend to unwise choices (oreos, pop, you fill in the blank).  

*Unwise choices lend to a stagnant, numb conscience which leads to   indifference, which leads to destruction (fatigue and pain are looking pretty suspicious right about now...).

I'm thinkin' about doin' the plunge in the pool called Bethesda in which the angel of the Lord stirs up the waters during certain seasons.  Check this out:

"Fence" #8

"Now there is in Jerusalem by the sheep gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew Bethesda, having five porticoes. 3 In these lay a multitude of those who were sick, blind, lame, and withered, [waiting for the moving of the waters; 4 for an angel of the Lord went down at certain seasons into the pool and stirred up the water; whoever then first, after the stirring up of the water, stepped in was made well from whatever disease with which he was afflicted.]"

John 5:2-4

Now this is the kind of discovery I like to make indeed!  If anything is deserving it's Yahweh's Word - to be unearthed to life and dusted off and studied with a fine-tooth comb of Wisdom and delight!  

I'm pretty sure I'll be digging this stone-of-treasure a little further in my future studies.  Though physical healing might well be a bonus at the end, I'm certain that my spiritual weakness will ascertain a new identification and encounter an inner revival of the deepest spiritual kind.  

So, what about y'all?  What is your weakness that is so entangling to the point of suffocation?  What is sucking the life out of you? Are you in desperate need of a healing pool?  I know of a healing Water of Life; the One who turns water into wine - Who is the New Wine; the One who fed Israel in the wilderness and sustained their life with a bread-like substance called Manna - Who is the Bread of Life!

Would you like to make a discovery - a life-changing-rock-your-world kind of earth-moving discovery?    

"The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom.

  Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

⁸ 

Cherish her, and she will exalt you;

    embrace her, and she will honor you.

⁹ 

She will give you a garland to grace your head

    and present you with a glorious crown."

Proverbs 4:7-9

The choice is:

Our weaknesses?

   Those things that entangle us and cause us to live unhealthy, unfruitful, disastrous lives.  Anything that holds us back from living in the ways of our Yeshua Messiah (Jesus).  

or

HIS Strength?

10 

"Hear the word of the Lord, O nations,

And declare in the coast lands afar off,

And say, “He who scattered Israel will gather him

And keep him as a shepherd keeps his flock.”

11 

For the Lord has ransomed Jacob

And redeemed him from the hand of him who was stronger than he.

12 

“They will come and shout for joy on the height of Zion,

And they will be radiant over the bounty of the Lord—

Over the grain and the new wine and the oil,

And over the young of the flock and the herd;

And their life will be like a watered garden,

And they will never languish again."

Jeremiah 31:10-12

Remembering who I am (Israel!),

                                                  Cindy

Mistake Noted and Lesson Learned!

Have you ever wondered why you've said "yes" to some commitments and then later regret that decision very much?  And then the day comes when *that* choice creeps into your conscience only to hear a familiar voice utter the words:  "what did I just do?"

That day has come and now it is almost history, thus far.  

And it's Sabbath no less.

Fence #7

Nature's Fence protecting a Narrow Path
 in Northern New Mexico
pic by Eric Lang

This is a day that I ought to have been resting, laying aside all that demands of my body and mind labeled as work!  Not for the reason that rest is demanded of me, because my Father Yahweh doesn't force His will, but gently guides and directs His ways (His commandments) for my good, but on the grounds that my Father has given me a very special gift that I'd really like to enjoy as Deuteronomy 5:12 says,

“Observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy, as the Lord your God has commanded you."

That's not a demand.  It's a command as a father would instill into his child a direction to follow a certain path of life out of love and protection for her well-being.

Deeper still, it is because I am learning how to love Him, and obeying His commandments is how He says I can do that.   Yeshua says in John 14:15, 21

“If you love me, keep my commands."

"Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”

In other words...

"Rest child, because I love you, that's why!" - the Father implies.

Can you just hear Him sigh:

"Just try it; I promise you will really like this one."

Sometimes  Most times we just don't get it until we look back and realize that we've missed out on something pretty special.  We can probably agree that when Yahweh repeats a word over and over it's

because He either means serious business or He wants to hand over something extraordinary.

And that's how much He loves!

Oh how I wish I could change the clock back a month when I made this unsaid very unwise decision.  It is one that, as a person that enjoys helping others in their time of need, ends in a bit of a butt-kicking (mine) in the form of a very sore body, an aggravated husband, and a feeling of being taken advantage.  I dislike that very much.

Oh how I wish I could have heeded to that still small Voice that most likely was whispering "No!  I have something better for you."  Alas, instead I was listening to my own selfish need of pleasing man, unfortunately.

So, today I went to work out of a worldly commitment to mankind, I gave permission to my eldest daughter without discussing with my husband over a thing (and I really never do this), and I came home and baked home-made bread for our dinner tonight, which is currently smelling oh so yummy, but that's beside the point...ahem. 

 "By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done." Genesis 2:2-3  

And *that's* the point!

So what's the solution to my apparent dilemma?  Learn from my mistakes and poor choices and get on with Life, Truth, Love, and Obedience!  Put a stop to the guilt trip that Satan would love nothing better to do but to trip me up with.

Lesson:

Jeremiah 17:7-8

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,

    whose confidence is in him 

They will be like a tree planted by the water

    that sends out its roots by the stream.

It does not fear when heat comes;

    its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought

    and never fails to bear fruit.”

1. Think and ask the Father what He thinks before I say "yes" to anything ... or even offer to do.

2. Seek, ask and discuss with the husband ... similar to #1.  Huh, interesting (earthly practice maybe?)

3. Make bread ahead of time...even if it will not be hot right out of the oven!

4. Take advantage of God's gift of rest.

5. Hear and do, Live and learn, Move on and move forward!

There is a path that is narrow and unpopular, yet comes with instructions. This Way takes faith, strength and courage in Yahweh to walk it out.

Then there is a wide path of brush (on the other side of Nature's Fence) that lends to tripping and falling and getting lost in the thick of life only to come out bruised and bloody and completely confused.  

I'm not sure that I even have to ask which side you'd choose...

Shabbat Shaloam! everyone and now I choose Yahweh's Rest.

Remembering who I am...

                                                      Cindy

She Shall Rejoice! - A Mother's Day Tribute

      It is with joy that I inscribe these words to a woman whom I have always loved but I've come to more greatly admire since donning my own spectacles of Motherhood.  Though this woman entered the world unexpectedly by human standards, her Creator made deliberate the plans He had for her before she was humanly thought of.  His plans are always better than ours.  His plans included my Mom.

     If you knew my Mother you would know that she has overcome many the physical obstacle such as a variety of surgeries that included the eyes, shoulders, back, and feet in her childhood, through marriage,

(Precious Moments.)

and successfully raising four daughters.

(Precious-er I know, I just couldn't resist.)

                                        

 She has learned to overcome extreme affliction that is, even now, an ongoing struggle in her life; however, my Mother is the perfect illustration of how to overcome chronic physical pain.  

     In the past 20 plus years she has manifested the ability to walk miles upon miles as a distraction from the constant physical distress she endures daily.  She has entered marathons and completed them, one being in Boston, MA, and very rarely does she miss a day of this fast paced exercise unless she has been laid up by illness, or tripping over a raised crack in the sidewalk causing bruising on her chin and more spasms in her body (this winter's set-back).  

     Besides walking, she overcomes by designing and sewing extravagant quilts for her...........................  10 grandchildren!!!...

(one grandson for grandpa...can you find Jackson?)

...as well as working her creative mind in putting together those 10 scrapbooks (to the relief of her daughters...ahem).  This past winter she and dad were blessed to have *everyone*, minus the son-in-laws, sleep and dine in their new home for the first time.  It was a house filled with noise joyful banter and chitchat reconnecting with those who have been absent, and the clicking of the camera freezing classic images to add yet another to those picture-books.

"She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idlesness."
Proverbs 31:27

"Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?

    the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows
    are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
    with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you;
    you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep."

Psalm 127:4-5
(MSG)

And as her daughter I can proudly...rise up and call her blessed! (Proverbs 31:28).

Mom is really a Jane-of-most-trades and puts forth excellence in all of them.  Baking and gardening and keeping a peaceful home for her husband is but just a few of her loves.  

 She loves on everyone's babies 

and lends *both* hands to her cherished elderly; she paints wildlife and sunsets by the sea; she sheds a tear with the grieving and laughs in life's joys.   She is often observed at her Baby Grand practicing her favorite hymns for that one moment she may be called upon to substitute on a Sunday Morning Sing.  

     But most of all, and my most favorite part, is witnessing the growth in my Mom for the past 30 years of my life in her love for God.  If anything is to be inherited from her it is this love and trust in her LORD... and when her children and grandchildren and even her great-grandchildren inquire about this Love she will recount the days that He made a way (through the discouragement of pain), like those days of Joshua (see Joshua 4).

If you haven't yet caught on my Mom is a pretty incredible lady and I'm proud to call her my friend, my confidant, my nurse (because that was her vocation), my go-to when life is upside-down or right-side-up or when I need a recipe ;), and well, simply my Mom! 

Isn't she pretty!

And though today it is called Mother's Day, tomorrow *my* Mother turns another year younger.  

Mom,  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!  I love you :)

And thus, Fence #6:    (Overcoming Pain)                                                                               

(Pic taken by LinJane...my Mom!  Have I mentioned that her favorite color is yellow?) 

"Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come."  

Proverbs 31:25

       

And "time to come" is her hope where there will neither be sorrow nor pain (Revelation 21:4), and as the former things will have passed away, God says that He will make all things new! (vs. 5)

In holding onto this Truth my Mother has chosen the side of the fence that hasn't allowed the pain to overcome her, but has trusted God with her pain as she continues to overcome.

Remembering who I am (my Mom's daughter),

                                                                             Cindy

Not One Tear Lost (Overcoming Disappointment)

Fence #5        (Santa Ynez, California; taken by LinJane)

(Battling disappointment can be an uphill, drag-out war...if you're standing on the wrong side)

I'm not a cryer.  My eyes are often very dry and, in fact, I can specifically count the moments that I found myself convulsing and dripping wet with tears...on one hand.  I've been able to sing solos at personal family member's funerals and weddings without breaking.  It's not that I had not cared or felt indifferent, it's that I was overwhelmed with a peace that I could not explain.   But in recent years I've often wondered why?  Why was *I* blessed with this peace?  Why was I *cursed* with non-emotion?  So I have asked Yahweh for tears.  Little did I know that prayer was answered, though in a way that did not make me feel much better.  I had been hoping for tears of joy, not of sorrow.  

I was awakened early in the morning by our Malamute barking hysterically in our back yard.  Peeking out the bedroom window my heart jumped and as I prompted my husband to get ready to help I hurriedly slipped on a pair of jeans and slippers making my way out the door quickly.  My newly acquired horse, Shadrak, had caught himself in the barb-wire fence and I found it amazing that my dog had the sense to alert whoever would listen; at the same time my human sense warned me there was no logical explanation for this hang-up.  My heart had been racing, the dog was still barking, the rest of the family was stirring, my husband was dialing the neighbor, and the sun was just peaking over the eastern hills, and all I could do was barely choke out a whisper "somebody please help me, please hurry".  As Shadrak fell to the ground, my hands were supporting his head and little did I know at that moment that the wire was around his neck choking the life out of him; he was dying rapidly and there was nothing that I could do.  I sat there with his head in my hands sobbing inaudible words that God could only decipher, feeling helpless and worthless, and as overwhelming emotions flooded me I witnessed a tear roll down my new friend's cheek for one moment of hope; the wire cutters came one last breath too late and life left him limp and no longer suffering.  "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry." I wailed. 

There was an eerie quiet calm that solemn morning.  The trees were noiseless as if they were standing at attention out of respect, the morning birds held back their flight as if there was a knowing among the creatures, and out of the thin air I heard a faint mourning cry, a chorus of distant howling paying their respects.   I was later told that the howling of wolves in the morning is very unusual, and by that I knew that God's great design of nature had a way of grieving as well, and that was comforting in a way.  

Many a tear drop were shed that day and not one of them were left untouched.

Shortly after this loss a friend shared with me that losing a horse is like losing a family member.  The loss is great and the grief is real; and it's not like losing a family pet such as a dog or cat.  I can attest to this, even if I owned this horse for but a few months.  A few days of bonding with a horse is like a few years of getting acquainted with a friend.  I can't explain it, but it's real.  Writing this brings back a bit of sadness, because it was a short-lived dream that I held onto since I was 10 years of age and it had finally come to fruition at age 33.  Now ten years later I'm curiously reminded of this day.
But the sadness over a lost dream is not what really bothers me today.  What has me disheartened is the fear that I held onto in sharing this with the friend that gave me this common dream...her horse became mine.  And because my heart was completely ripped apart I didn't know how to communicate this loss to her.  I shared this fear with a precious mentor at that time and she encouraged me with "you'll call her in time".  I never did and my friend found out through another source ... and *that's* disappointing.  I was afraid of rejection, of ridicule, of confrontation, of disappointing another human being; I couldn't face another loss.  But consequently my fear and lack of communication caused another separation. 

This isn't about overcoming loss; it's really about overcoming disappointment; overcoming being disappointed and overcoming being a disappointment.  It's a matter of getting off the fence of blinding fear and onto a side that lends to walking the path of courage to face people no matter what their reaction will be, and trusting the Shepard in that step of courage.  I can imagine that the other side would have lent to a path of loneliness and distrust.  Though, at the time of the tragedy, I was not aware of a choice only of the fear that enveloped me, hindsight lends me the knowledge that my God took care of the details and brought me back to the green pasture.  It was a couple of months later that my friend and I reconnected, awkward and humiliating as it was on my part, but we connected nonetheless.  However, consequently the repercussion of my inaction took us down a path that went different ways and communication dwindled to nothing.  If this friend ever reads this just know that I am truly sorry.  God gives me grace to learn from my mistakes and grow from there on.  He leaves the ninety-nine and fetches the one in hopes to reconnect, retrain, regather him to the rest of His flock for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training. (2 Timothy 3:16)

 ³ Then Jesus told them this parable: ⁴ “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? ⁵ And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders ⁶ and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ ⁷ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

Luke 15:4-7 (NIV)

I can only imagine the disappointment that this wandering lamb had experienced, the lost teardrops whisked away in the wind as he desperately ran away to separate himself from the humiliation of time lost in sin, disobedience, fear, disappointment, loss, grief, whatever it was that caused him to take flight; and I can imagine that the Shepard carefully caught the displaced tears in His gentle hands not willing any of them to fall by the wayside.  And notice that when the Shepard found this lost creature He "joyfully puts it on His shoulders" like a smiling father giving his child a piggy-back ride home...and a party is awaiting their return! And oh there is so much to this story of His and I could go on and on ... and maybe I will in another post; but you see, disappointment is but an emotion that disconnects us from the special appointments with God, our Shepard.  Disappointment is learned through unfortunate events in life.  But by His grace He enables us to learn something new:  thrilling appointments that just might involve tears of joy with our Father, on time and in His steps.  

The path of loneliness and detachment

OR

The path of courage to face divine appointments

I know that my story may sound confusing as I originally chose in ignorance the path of loneliness; however, as I began to realize my mistake I allowed the Shepard to lead me on from there.  See the difference?   He, then, carried me over the fence...on His shoulders no less ... now *that* was a ride!    ;)

Remembering who I am...

                                               Cindy